Tolerations are those little things that you’ve come to accept and cope with, even if they make you unhappy or frustrated. They can be anything from a leaky faucet to a bully co-worker; a minor annoyance or a serious situation that makes you dread something as simple as going to work.
While some can be difficult to cope with and obvious in the way they make you upset, others, like the leaky faucet, don’t seem as if they’re that big of a deal. But they are! Think about every time you walk into the bathroom and hear that drip-drip-drip. For a moment, you groan. You think, “Man, I need to do something about that. It is so annoying.” But then you tolerate it and move on. But the same thing happens next time you enter the bathroom. “Oh, that faucet is driving me crazy. I need to do something about that.” And you don’t.
What if you fixed that leaky faucet? What if the next time you entered the bathroom, you sighed with relief. You felt proud and happy that you took care of it.
And imagine you did that with more tolerations. Think of how good you could feel! Many little tolerations can wear you down. Large tolerations can downright make your life unhappy. Let’s look at that bully co-worker example. Let’s say you work with someone who is continually pushing work off on you. They’re rude and gossipy. They take credit for your work. Perhaps you’re not sure what to do, or you worry that if you try to do something about it, there will be repercussions. So you tolerate the behavior. But each and every day, you dread seeing this person. They’re making your work life miserable.
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That isn’t right. No one should have to live like that.
Imagine if it changed-if you could go to work and not have to tolerate the rudeness and the bad behavior. Isn’t it worth it to try?
Let’s talk about how to address unnecessary tolerations. First, list everything you can think of that bothers you-from kids leaving laundry on the floor to not having enough money in your bank account. Here are a few samples of varying seriousness: Too many junk emails
Rude co-worker
Overweight
Living paycheck to paycheck
Now, once you’ve listed your tolerations, you can decide which ones need to go. Which tolerations on your list need to be eliminated from your life? It can just be a few, or it can be all of them! Circle or underline the tolerations you want to deal with.
After you’ve decided what to change, it’s time to decide how to change them. Brainstorm a list of possible solutions for each toleration. Just throw out ideas-they don’t all have to be something you’d seriously consider. Just list every possible solution you can think of for each toleration. Here are some more examples:
Too many junk emails
Learn how to filter junk email
Get better virus protection software
Unsubscribe to advertisements by using the links at the bottom of those emails
Set security higher
Don’t give out email address to stores and websites
Rude co-worker
Talk with human resources
Talk with your supervisor
Discuss the situation with the co-worker
Find a new job
Be more assertive
Overweight
Talk to a nutritionist
Join a weight loss program
Join a gym
Start a food journal
Cut out processed foods
Living paycheck to paycheck
Ask for a raise
Find a new job
Find another job
Use a tighter budget
Go back to school
Now you have a starting point. You have identified tolerations in your life that need to be dealt with, and you’ve started thinking of ways to eliminate these bothers. Your next step is to get to work! Many of life’s problems can be solved by just rolling up your sleeves and getting down to work. Write on your calendar when you’d like to start changing your life, bit by bit, and stick to it, no matter what.
Stop tolerating the little annoyances. Stop tolerating the big stressors. Stand up and say NO MORE! See what happens!
Angela van de Riet is a member of the Certified Coaches Federation (CCF) and graduate from CoachU. The creator of Engaged LivingFor more information about Angela, or to contact her, please visit http://www.engagedlving.ca & http://www.aunlp.c
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